yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
