Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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