so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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