everyone is single if you try hard enough
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
