I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
