i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He? As in you personified your dick?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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