So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
