i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
