flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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