he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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