i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
me + whiskey = a bad person
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
