I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
