hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
