before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
