i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
