new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm too high and old for this...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
