i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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