I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The best revenge is premature balding
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
