her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think my fart just growled at me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
