still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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