just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
