the day after is always just damage control
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
