Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
