you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
