Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
