We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im about as happy as oj after his trial
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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