Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I see more hoeing in ur future
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