He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
