Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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