it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
