I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
