READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
