New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
