Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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