Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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