my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
