Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize