you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
