Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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