tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
