Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
