everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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