Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
