Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
