a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
