Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Randomize
