i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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