maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
