I cannot find my penis.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How does it feel to date your dad?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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