I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
