So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
